Reasons why a Husband does not want to have sex with his Wife Part 1

The topic of a woman being in a sexless marriage is still a taboo subject matter. 

Typically we hear from men that their wives are not interested in sex or that they complain of the lack of frequency.  What happens when it is the woman who is not getting sex from her husband?

For the women that live in a marriage where their husband is no longer interested in being intimate with them, it can be very painful.  This is a subject matter that most women will not even share with their closest friends. The idea of a man not wanting to have sex with his wife or girlfriend is still considered taboo. Women suffer in silence over the pain that they feel, as well as the husbands that are involved with, because no one talks about it.

This article was written for men and women to share their stories about living in a sexless marriage. The article was originally posted on Squidoo back in 2010 getting 4000 views a day and over 2000 comments posted, before Squidoo was bought out by Hubpages.  This article was stored on my computer for over a year.  I brought the article out of hiding because my book on this subject matter will be published within the year and I wanted to continue to make this blog an active forum and will post the entire article with comments over the next few months!

I have given some basic reasons why a husband may not want to have sex with his wife. As a result of the attention that the article has derived, I felt it necessary to make it into a book that goes into more details, with solutions to some of the problems presented as well as how to avoid the problem to begin with. At the end of the article series please read the heart felt comments that have turned this article into a form, where others open up about their own pain about sexless marriage. We can see how men and women lack the communication skills surrounding sexual issues to speak openly about their problems. As a clinical sexologist and intimacy counselor, I have helped couples and individual's for many years to improve their marriage and their sex lives.

As a society we can watch sex on television, see it displayed on billboards, but still have difficulty talking about it with our spouse.

The evolution of marriage 

There is a social stigma put on a woman whose husbands do not want to have sex with them than the other way around. Women take it to heart and feel as though there is something wrong with them instead of openly taking about it and getting some help.

As our society continues to evolve with technology, men and women are on equal playing fields in many areas of life. The day where the man brought home the money and the women watched the children, is not the norm. The female dependence by the male for protection and providing is no longer such an issue. Men and women can equally take care of themselves and in some homes women have taken over the financial responsibly or are making more money than their partner. The line of male/ female roles have become blurred directly impacting on the sexuality of men.

A man's sexuality

Understanding some of the physical issues that can be associated with male sexuality can help both men and women when it comes to having sex. Men have more sexual related problems than women, because there is no hiding a flaccid penis, it is exposed and vulnerable.  When a man is not able to get an erection, maintain an erection, not be able orgasm or orgasm too quickly it is all exposed and there is no place to hide, leaving some men anxious when their penis is not working the way they want it to.  Another factor involved is the lack of education when it comes to male sexual performance.  The penis is not always ready to perform even if the man is, and women often times do not understand this either and view a flaccid penis as the man not being attracted to her or aroused.  This in fact is not true, a man can still be aroused with a semi hard penis or even a flaccid penis, he just needs to be stimulated directly and mentally to regain the blood flow.  Not having a hard penis or him losing his erection now creates a cyclical problem with his wife where he feels pressure and anxiety too perform so that his wife will not think he is not attracted to her because he lost his erection......

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